The Enemy.

Temptation is straight from the enemy. He uses temptation to tease you, taunt you, manipulate your thoughts, cause you to worry, and deceive you. 

I gave in to temptation for months. I was teased with affection so I kept going back. I was taunted by feeling wanted. The enemy manipulated my thoughts by making me believe it was ok, I was just having fun. I was constantly worried about many things. I was completely and utterly deceived by the enemy. After all, his deceitful thoughts are what got me there in the first place. He is the one who made me feel unworthy, unloved, and lonely. I chose to act on those temptations, but he is the one who first placed those thoughts in my head. 

My eight months of pure ridiculous behavior (refer to the blog titled GRACE) included several different guys. It's not something I say proudly. It's actually rather embarrassing for me. None of them meant anything to me and I meant nothing to them. 

One of them I cannot let go. I haven't given in to temptation in four months, but I'm telling you I have felt tempted. I have prayed for him and I've prayed about him. I have no desire to see him. So why can't I just let him go? Why can't I just stop talking to him? The things he said to me and the way he treated me over those eight months should make it easier to let go. 

When you're trying your hardest is when the enemy creeps back in. He fills your head with nonsense. This time I want to be done. I want to be done with this guy so bad. I need to be done with him. 

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape with horns. He comes as everything you ever wished for. Pray with me for me to have wisdom and discernment. 

And to be like Elsa and "Let it gooooooo!"